Glen Coco | Diary of a Tender Hooligan

Posted in Advice, Skater Life

Hello avid blog readers, I know it’s been a while but I’ve finally stopped being harassed in the streets due to my new found fame so thought it might be time for a little update.

It’s been nearly 2 years since I started at new skater night at Rainy City but feels more like maybe 2/3 weeks max. Loads has happened since my last update so I’ll try and keep it shortish.

My first game. That’s my head just peeping over on the right, before I learned to wear contact lenses.

So I’ve been training with the Tender Hooligans since I passed my minimum skills in September last year. I had my first game with them against Nottingham in February this year. We were playing away, so I woke up that morning and got a lift off our captain Nancy Ray Gun, also in the car was Meet Ze Monsta and Heironymous Bash (RIP to your Rainy City days Bash). At this time in my life I had a proper obsession with jacket potatoes (I still kind of do, I think I might need help), so we stopped off at the service station on the way there and I asked for a jacket potato but they wouldn’t be ready for another hour – devastated.

We got to the game and there was a mens team playing before us so we got to watch a bit of that, I had a prawn pasta salad from Tesco (available at any good retail store). We sat down to have a team talk and discussed tactics and stuff, I felt like I knew nothing.

Because it was my first game I knew I wouldn’t exactly be on every other jam, so I took my place on the bench and waited for the dreaded “Glen Coco”, knowing I would be on the next line. My heart sped up, or slowed down, or maybe both. I can’t remember much, but I jammed a couple of times. This is the exciting part – I got lead, scored 4 points and called it off before they could score any. There were loads of “FOUR FOR YOU GLEN COCO”s waiting for me back at the bench – loved it.

When Mick Swagger came to teach the Hoolies. #starstruck

I’ve played 4 more games with the Hooligans I think, all at home. Against Croydon in April, Cork City in May, Dolly Rockits in July and Leeds Whip Its in August. When playing against Cork City, I fell on my shoulder when I was jamming and was out of any sort of training for a month. And as luck would have it, this was the time I got my brand new Bonts. Being unable to skate and having a lovely, shiny (they’re not shiny, they’re black and orange) pair of Bonts sat in the corner of your room is not a good combination. It was close to actual torture and when I finally got to wear them I fell over straight away.

Ever since training with the Hooligans I do actually feel I’ve got a bit better at some things. I feel better at blocking and don’t nearly die from a heart attack when I get asked to jam in games. My offence (which was non-existent for a majority of my roller derby career) has actually started to work, but I guess that’s not for me to say. (It really has! – Harlot Jo Ransom)

What’s also fun is teaching the newbies on Monday nights. I like to reminisce on my Monday night days, and always share my experiences with the new skaters through the medium of bad jokes and falling over more than they do.

I wrote at the end of my last blog post that my new years resolution was to pull off an apex jump. Sadly I’ve not actually done it yet, BUT I WILL! (Maybe)

The Tender Hooligans, coming to a roller derby venue near you.