Glen Coco’s Memoirs: Year One.

Posted in Advice, Skater Life

So 2014 has finally ended and I thought it appropriate to take the entire year and put it into one blog post. A summary of the year, Glen Coco’s first year in roller derby.

Sums up my eating habits in January, double everything!


This is my pre-roller derby month. Where I did no exercise and ate what I wanted and had no strong feelings and attachments towards any 4-wheeled items.


The glorious month of February saw my first roller derby training session at the Thunderdome. It was the February the 24th (I think), it was the first time I had ever gotten on the tram (it made me 30 minutes late, but anyone who knows me knows that punctuality isn’t my strongest point) and I was proper nervous. But I loved every minute. I got 15 laps (or something like that) and I nearly died on the tram home because I hadn’t moved my legs that much for months, maybe even years.

A rare photo of me on my first night of roller derby (never before seen)
A rare photo of me on my first night of roller derby (never before seen)


I can’t remember much of this month but I’m pretty certain it just consisted of me learning falls, stops and trying to transition. It was in this month I had my first bad fall, and bruised all my left leg attempting a transition, leaving me unable to attempt it again for weeks.


The only thing I can remember from April is accidentally having a few beers at a pub across the road from uni and just hoping that I sobered up before training. I did.


May was a super exciting month! This was the month I was allowed to go and train with BLM on Wednesdays as well as new skater training on

Mmmmm. For blocking drills!
Mmmmm. For blocking drills!

Mondays. Once again I was nervous for my new roller derby venture, and turning up on that first Wednesday made me feel physically sick as I thought I wasn’t ready. At the time BLM was full of really good skaters (some of who are on the Travel Team now), and I watched them scrimmaging at the end of the night and there was no way I would ever do that, ever.

This was the month I got my own skates and kit, buzzing!


In June I got really drunk one night and had to skate in the Manchester Day Parade with a hangover.


My first skates!
My first skates!

This was an exciting month for me! I got given my very own roller derby name! After months of trying to find a name, and being told I couldn’t have some of the ones I wanted, I got given a name when I was drunk by Fish and Raven (I think?). Obviously this name was Glen Coco.

By this month I was getting 26 ¾ laps and loving life at training.

Also got a gammy foot and had to take a week off – boo!


I finally got my 27 laps! I think that’s about all that happened this month.

Oh and I think that I got myself a bit of a reputation as the one who always gets ‘too drunk’ at the after party.

My giant, infected foot
My giant, infected foot.


In September I passed my minimum skills test! Finally felt that all the hard work I had been putting in all year had paid off. I stopped training on Mondays and started going on Tuesdays with the Hooligans instead. Was super out of my depth and felt like I had no place being there. And after only being able to stand up on skates for 6 months, it was (and still is) really difficult.

This month also saw my first scrimmage, and I nearly died, especially the next day when my legs felt like they weren’t my own.


My first cherry popper! Probably one of my favourite days of the year.

Me and Ruth minimum skills passed!
Me and Ruth minimum skills passed!


Train, train, train. There’s not much happened in these past few months apart from training and scrimming. I also had a whole month off during December, due to birthdays and Christmas.

My new year’s resolution is to successfully pull off an apex jump at some point. And hopefully I’ll get to play more games, but first I need to get back to practise. After having a month off I feel like I’ve put on 20 stone and I may not be able to skate anymore, but we’ll see on Sunday at scrim!